Hippie by Accident – The Family Bed

There are some things I am purposely granola-eating hippie about: liberal politics, going green, and then there are things I’m an accidental hippie like the “family bed.”

I like sleep. I’m a night owl by nature, but when I finally do go to sleep I like to stay that way, which is difficult when you have an infant, and nearly impossible when you have three kids under age seven.

Someone is always waking up with bad dreams, wet pants, or general sleeptus interruptus. It’s not their fault, they’re kids and they don’t realize the grownups in their lives can’t drop off to sleep like they can, at least not until they’re 80 and can pull an Abe Simpson. Honestly, they don’t really care, they just want into the bed.

All the kids have their own beds, picked and decorated with love. The girls at least start off in their own beds and there’s a 60/40 chance they’ll stay there the whole night. David has an aversion to his lovely crib, in fact, I hardly can make it out the room before he wakes up.

My dilemma, or I should say our dilemma because I don’t parent alone, is we’re not fans of the “cry it out method.” I actually am unable to function when my kids cry. It short circuits my brain, makes me unable to concentrate, I just can’t do it. I’m no punk, when they are just teary or fussy I cope but full out bawling? It needs to be tended to, especially in an infant.

So with that method out what is a family to do? This kid has to get out now. He and his all night nursing buffet have got to go. Get ooouuuut!

Looks sweet doesn’t he? Yeah well, don’t let him fool you, he’s an all-night snacker with who hates his crib. Some nights he’ll put himself back to sleep with a little “Da, da, na, na” baby swearing, but most nights it’s full on bawling for longer than I can stand.

We never intended to be a family bed household. Our first child, Olivia, was our ‘have to’ child. Everything most people said we ‘had to’ do we tried, including trying to keep her in her bed. It was a hellish first six weeks. Every night at 2 a.m. I’d hit my limit and she had hit her stride. She’d cry with the lungs of an opera singer and I cry with the tears of someone who just went a round with Mike Tyson. David would take her and she’d yell at him for a few hours. It sucked big time.

Then David suggested we try side-lying nursing. I gave it a go and she fell asleep, I fell asleep and at 6 a.m. I woke up in a panic only to find her sleeping nice and cozy next to me. The lightbulb went off. We tried it the next night and it became our routine. Despite dire warnings of never getting her out the bed we knew this would work for our family. When Bri was born there was no hesitation. Sleep was more important than those other rules. Same with David II. It’s a great solution for us until it’s not. Like now. I’m so over it.

I’d like my adult bedroom back. I’d like to have late night activities without first planning how to ease a certain someone into their own bed. I’d like to sleep free without a little guy wandering over and opening the spigot for a late night snack…

David II is getting the short end of the bed sharing stick. His sisters were in our bed for much longer – Olivia unitl 2 years and Bri until around 8 months or so. But oh well! Now I need a routine, or method of transitioning him into his own bed without losing a lot of sleep on my end. I don’t just like sleep, I’m dangerous without it – like fall asleep at red lights dangerous which is freaking scary let me tell you. So, got any suggestions?

Tagged: breastfeeding, family bed, sleeping

Posted in: David II, Kids